i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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