Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
