I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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