Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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