the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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