they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
