well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
