My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
