They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
