Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
