How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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