The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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