I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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