So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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