Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
