I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
