Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
