Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize