I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
