she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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