STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize