JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
