What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
