I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
