Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
