Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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