If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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