I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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