It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
