i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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