U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
