So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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