No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
