The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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