just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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