he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
