I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
