i just wanna soil my oats bro
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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