finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
