my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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