i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
