susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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