Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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