addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
