I cockslap morals
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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