I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize