It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
