dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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