More tranny stories later!
I CAN MOONWALK!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
