Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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