Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
