I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
