I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
