honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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