Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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