She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
