You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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