Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
